So this past week has been incredible for me with food intake and really doing well despite the drama from my ex. Really learning to separate myself from his illness has really helped, as well as so much support from friends and family. Anyhow, I have noticed my skinny jeans a little snugger. Not much but enough to where I can't take them off without unbuttoning them like I used to. I used to constantly pull them up and never had to use the buttons! This is a good thing and I am not at all freaked out. I no longer know my weight and don't care to. I just hope it has gone up a few pounds and may know in about a week when I see my therapist again as she is currently on vacation and has been for over a week now. My goal is 4 pounds by the time I see her again which is healthy at gaining 2 pounds a week. She wont ever reveal the number and may not reveal how much I have gained but she will say something if I have lost or not gained so that is how I know.
I started thinking about sayings and you know you are no longer "ana" when..... so here is what I have come up with and you can always add in fun!
You know you are no longer "Ana" when......
You no longer go to the blank spot 10 to 20 times a day where your scale once was!
You remember to eat every 2 hours instead of every 10!
You have to unbutton your small skinny jeans to get them on and off instead of being able to just pull them on and off!
You are eager to make sure the calories go up instead of below 900!
You no longer shake your legs profusely when sitting to burn off that diet soda!!!!
You make health your goal instead of weight!
You no longer hesitate when grabbing the shampoo bottle to look for calories!
You no longer guesstimate (my made up word lol) your calories going way over just so your therapist approves your meal plan ( this never worked with Dr. Waraich lol)!
You can no longer shop the tween's department store for clothes!
You can walk upright in the wind instead of struggling to keep your balance!
You no longer double check to see if the laxatives you are about to down have calories in them!
You say "wow that mini quiche looks good" instead of "Gee, that egg and cheese bomb is probably 5000 calories!"
You no longer fear holding a fattening piece of food thinking you will gain through osmosis!
Your knees are no longer the "fattest" parts of your body!
You are no longer mistaken for a drug addict or 12 year old girl!
I am sure there are plenty more but since I am not entrenched in it anymore it's hard to go back and think of it all. I know for me I don't keep laxatives, pills, scales, or diet foods in the house. I do keep plenty of health foods as far as fruit, yogurt, milk, veggies etc but nothing that is non fat etc and I don't use sugar substitutes in my coffee anymore.
This is in fun so if anyone is offended then you are still entrenched and my apologies. Life is too short to be so serious all the time and while this is very serious, it's also very freeing to pull away from it.