Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Recovery has taken the driver's seat and kicked Ed to the passenger's!

ok so I love photography and just feel blogs with pictures are more interesting so what better than some pictures of my little guy's driving to represent my writing this entry~
While driving today I started thinking about my struggles this past week. I realized for near 20 years "Ed" has been in the driver's seat controlling so much of my life on so many negative levels. I started to think of how "Recovery" needs to be in the driver's seat! At Reason's staff would tell us to make the Recovery voice louder which I really worked at so today I thought driver's seat. I envisioned it and I thought ok "Ed" is moved to pasenger's. Some might say why not have him in the back seat or completely out of the car?! First of all most have heard the term back seat driver and I couldn't have him chiming in my ear telling me how to fricken drive! And realistically recovery doesn't mean he's gone just yet and recovery is so tough when Ed has been such an addiction and strong habit for so many years! I thought no, pasenger side. He can hold on the the "oh shit" handle ,as my sister calls it, for when I continually choose recovery through driving my way out of the anorexic dungeon. I figure the more curves and turns I make and winding mountain roads to get out of this disorder nightmare, I might just make Ed sick enough to open the door and jump out!
I haven't blogged in over a week because I had been restricting some. Not completely just here and there and ashamed of my body and my struggles. I have had to continually think Recovery and it's not been easy~
Anyone who has ever had an eating disorder then chose recovery can probably relate that you start out feeling in control and soon "Ed" controls you (even though we continually say we are in control!). Ed tells you when you can eat, not eat, tricks to avoiding food, punishes you when you give into food, punishes you by cruel words, bases your worth by the number on the scale, isolates you from everyone and everything you know, destroys relationships, causes you to lie to get away with the disorder and the list goes on. Basically Ed destroys you and instead of living life you become the walking dead.
Some wonder why anyone would want Ed. Well I can't relate to drug addiction but can relate to pill addiction, self harm, and starvation. Ed is extremely addicting and while with drug addiction you don't need drugs to recover with Ed you have to face the addiction to survive. You can't just be sober from food!
Choosing Recovery is a daily choice and sometimes moment to moment choice. It's allowing Recovery to step in and say "I got this one" when Ed wants to be front and center.
I hear so many people with eating disorders say they don't want to die but don't choose to recover. The only way to live is to choose Recovery and put Recovery in the driver's seat at all times!
BTW I have road rage so I hope Ed knows what he's up against! haha

Saturday, September 19, 2009

R.I.P Cynthia Rowland Mcclure~

Just posting these pictures has brought me to tears~ I attended two of Cynthia's "Hope weeks" at a hotel in Baldwin park California in 1997. The Hope weeks were 5 days long and consisted of several groups and meals together. They were very intense, just run by Cynthia and Mike Moore from the Minirth Meier clinic where Cynthia had spent several weeks in patient for bulmia nervosa.
Many may be familiar with her book, THE MONSTER WITHIN, where she wrote candidly about her severe bulimia and her stay with other patents with different disorders at the clinic.
Cynthia had been a news anchorwoman who would consume thousands of calories a day while downing boxes of laxatives and purging. She was knocking on death's door when arriving at the clinic and went through horrible withdraws from her disorder. What touched me the most in her book was how honest she was in what she needed and how hard she pushed for recovery. She speaks of when she needed a hug or needed to confront someone and was honest about her deepest thoughts and emotions.
Cynthia used her recovery to go on to help others through her Hope weeks and speaking engagements all over the country. She also wrote a book called LIFE AFTER ADDICTIONS about her being diagnosed with breast cancer at the young age of 28 and meeting her husband David and later adopting two boys from two different women who suffered with eating disorders.
During the first Hope Week I was greeted with a very enthusiastic Cynthia. She was so warm and caring and it was evident this wasn't just a job to her but her passion in life.
It was during my first Hope week I ended up being rushed to urgent care by ambulance due to collapsing with chest pains from laxatives and purging. I was given i.v and sent back hours later. Cynthia was supportive but confrontative and knew I had the pills. She had me get them from my room and when I gave them to her in group and confronted she shared with everyone how she felt about her abuse of them and fully felt the chemicals in them contributed and possibly caused her breast cancer. She had been in remission at the time of this Hope Week and fully recovered from her eating disorder. During this group I lost it. She sat in the middle of the group on the floor and called me to her. She literally just sat ad held me the rest of the group! Amazing woman!!!
I kept in phone contact with Cynthia after Hope Week and not long after Hope Week she called me and asked if I would meet her and a few others at Soup Plantation in Brea as she wanted to discuss something with us. I remember there were 3 of us and her. I brought her a snicker's bar as a joke and sat next to her. That's when she told us the devastating news. Her cancer came back ten fold. It was in her lymphnodes and spine! I just lost it. I cried all the way home and a few hours after.
Cynthia started chemo and a few months later I attended another of her Hope Weeks. Those would be the pictures with her cute flashy hat! She had lost her hair. When I arrived at the hotel she called me to her right away and took her hat off to show me. She was gorgeous but my heart was breaking for her. During the 5 day stay she missed a few session due to being ill but pushed through.
The cancer came back with a vengeance and she was no longer able to do Hope Weeks. What amazes me is she was given maybe a year to live and she lived 6. She passed away in August 2003. She spoke all over the country on God's love and eating disorders. She would come home to get chemo as the tumors in her spine kept returning and doctors told her not to go on speaking engagements but she did anyway and defied the odds for years after her death sentence.
Cynthia always wanted a Hope House where women with eating disorders could go to get support or stay for a few days. She spoke about this with a few of us that night at dinner. I had always hoped I could help her with it until the cancer returned. My hope is to keep her memory alive and someday speak as she did using her name and her love for other's and strong faith in Christ.
I love you Cynthia and you are greatly missed~

This and that and seeing fat! Recovery will win!

Well I tried to add the top ones after writing about the bottom ones but still learning this blogging business. Top ones from my birthday/Easter (4-12-09) then Disneyland last night hence the writing below! Mistakes ok in life so I am posting as is!

Ok so they are silly pictures taken last night while at Disneyland again! I am posting them, flaws, fat and all, because I need to accept where I am at and embrace recovery. I also do pictures like these as a joke to my dietician, Lisa Arroyas, because while at Reasons I told her I'd be going to Disneyland on my birthday/Easter. She said since I loved photography to take pictures of my drinking supplements as I had started treatment a week before! Gotta have a sense of humor in the darkness of Ana. Besides that, my dietician is a riot to say the least!

I have been battling body image all week! Recovery is not easy from this deadly disease but I don't want to die so I have to find ways to keep going and keep pushing forward. "Ana" screams at me to stop and lose, which would be so easy, but I have proven I can be thinner than thin so why not try being a "normal" weight and see what it feels like for a while? I can always go back but have a feeling once I get more into recovery and gain I won't ever want to go back and it's just so dangerous at any level to have an eating disorder.

I challenge you all to try recovery. Better yet I challenge you to DO recovery!


Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Having a "fat" day but will get through~

These were taken earlier today. I was feeling quite big today and notice I have gained. I started to freak a little as my stomach sticks out but "aunt flow" is due any day now so it's to be expected. Still not easy when you want recovery and "Ana" screams starve, restrict, and there's fat everywhere.
Regardless I still ate breakfast, a snack for lunch, and dinner is cooking.
There are so many myths about anorexia that being in recovery I often second guess if I was/am really anorexic!
Badges of honor for most anorexics:
1.) being in double digits~
2.) amenorrhea (absense of periods 6 or more months)
3.) eating no more than 5 to 600 cals a day.
4.) having to be tube fed.
5.) numerous medical complications.
6.) passing out
7.) having to be hospitalized
You get the idea. I am sure there are several more I am missing. I have had many of these badges but then other's have had all of them so I think okay "not anorexic enough". The problem is comparing. What may kill one girl for just a few months of anorexia may take another decades to die from. If our bodies are so different in who dies and who doesn't and who has endured years of being the walking dead and who couldn't then maybe we shouldn't be comparing at all because we truly are all different!
When I was at Reasons we had so many groups and therapy sessions ,and the girls were so supportive of one another as well as confrontational, that the focus was not so much on bodies. Yes we all had our secret insecurities and those we shared but I liked how the focus wasn't on body but on who we all are as people. I miss the safety of it.
I have been reading up on blogs and so many countless stories of emaciated holocaust looking anorexics and bulimics who have died as well as these obese women doing these 500 caloric diets and dying. My therapist would probably be pissed if I told her this as she worries I am triggerable. I used to be and sometimes it makes me think I am not sick enough but then I think wait, I am not sick enough ANYMORE! I am in recovery and not supposed to be sick anymore! And surprisingly: looking at all this has made me want recovery that much more!
Recovery takes way more courage and endurance than starving myself. Anorexia was easy for me. Let me reframe that. Anorexia is not easy but starving was as I still struggle even having an appetite and food just doesn't appeal to me. I also get nauseated a lot. Recovery takes everything in me not to do old behaviors I did for 20 years and recovery takes perseverence. So while I have day to day struggles, hate my thighs, insecure about my arms, and can't stand my butt and stomach I am still choosing recovery and hope and pray others' will do the same because life really is worth living~

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Honda vs 18 wheeler March 25, 2008 guess who lost? lol

ok the pictures are in reverse order. My twin brother and I on our birthday (4-12-08) is the first shot then close friends Angela, Alex expecting! Then Palm springs with my mother who flew down to help me right after the accident.
On March 25th just about two miles into driving home from supervising a visit in Lake Elsinore the accident happened.
I was in the slow lane and saw a black bedliner from a truck fly into my lane. I quickly glanced left to get over but cars were going too fast so I slowed to get around and before I knew it the trucker smacked right into me. I don't remember getting to the side of the road or if I was pushed into the bedliner. I kept my body still as I tried to reach blindly for my cell. I called 911 and then my mother~ Before I knew it a fireman was at my door telling me to stay still, then ambulance. I had been through first aid training and knew to stay still. My head hurt like nothing I had ever felt. Apparently I whiplashed so bad my seat gave out a few notches but my seat belt locked me in leaving a brusie on my arm.
It took 4 very cute men to get me out of my car and into the ambulance. I would have loved to take the single guy in the ambulance home but no luck there. damn. The er was aweful. Once they had me checked for paralysis they stuck me upright in a wheel chair in the waiting room for 5 hours with no meds! They finally took very painful ex rays and gave mild meds as I was still nursing Jack and refused heavy meds.
I slept two hours that first night and could not move my head to even turn over to my side while sleeping because of the pain. The next day I was a bit stiff and it hadn't fully set in. The er nurse warned me it would get worse as each day passed the first few days after and she wasn't kidding.
The next day my step mom drove me to the tow yard to clear out my car where I took the above photos. The window I knew shattered right away when I was hit and everything in the trunk including Jack's stroller was smashed. They could not turn the car on as the engine was dead. Thankfully the Honda did what it was built to do which is fold into itself like an accordion. Regardless I took a hit pretty hard and the whiplash was worse because my 5'8 113 lb body at the time took the hit of an 18 wheeler full force as he was going about 60 as I had slowed to maybe 45.
Two days later my sister took me to my regular md who gave me a neck brace which I wore about a month. The brace really helped because my head felt like it weighed a ton minus the fact I have a big head anyway! lol
My mom came and took the boys and I to Palm Springs to relax. During this time the custody battle was getting worse.
I ended up missing 3 months of work then went back at 15 hours for a few weeks. I was then released to 30 hours only to have work cut backs and get cut to 15. I lost my apartment and the custody battle got even worse!
I did go to a chiropractor and physical therapy. I also went to several doctor appointments but the pain was always there.
I write about this because I feel the stress and bills from all this contributed to my relapse. I am currently under a mound of stress from it all and currently in severe back and neck pain again as well as bad eyesight and numbing in my left arm and shoulder.
I don't think my body will ever be the same~

Friday, September 11, 2009

Tribute to Karen Carpenter

There are hundreds of pictures online of Karen though this was the only one I could get to save and upload! I heard one of her songs yesterday on the radio and was brought to tears as her music often stops me in my tracks. Her story is incredibly tragic because she was so talented and beautiful and her life was wasted on anorexia. When I have spoken to others about Karen Carpenter they usually say "yeah she died at like 80 pounds and was severe". She was severe but she was actually in recovery per se though struggling as we all do to fully recover from this deadly disease.
I used to think I am not as bad as she was. Then I did the math one day as my therapist wanted me hospitalized at 100 pounds and I was angry at her because I knew I was "not as bad as Karen Carpenter". Boy was I wrong. While Karen got down to a dangerous 80 pounds and some stories say as low as 77 for her 5'4 frame I got down to 92 and 99/100 recently for my 5'8 frame. That's why it's not good to compare but easier said than done!
My heart just aches that she had to die. The story below says a lot and states she was 108 when she died of cardiac arrest. There were traces of ipecac found in her system which for those who don't know is given to infants usually if poison is swallowed as it makes you vomit. Trust me it's dangerous and not fun, yes I have drank a bottle before and used to take it.
Any eating disorder at any time can cost you your life. I have heard stories of people bulimic for a mere few months dying and girls as young as 16 having heart attacks on roller coaster rides due to cmplications of their eating disorder. The belief "it can't happen to me" can be tragic~
Here is her story:

Battling Anorexia: The Story of Karen Carpenterby Adena Young

She was a great musician. A teenager turned accordion player turned flutist turned drummer turned singer. Karen Anne Carpenter was one of the all time great musical sensations of the 70s. On the stage she was glamorous and loved by the crowd. Thousands of people cheered her on as she performed classic song after song. She guest starred on TV shows, was on the front cover of many national magazines, and even toured the world. But amidst all this fame and fortune, she was dying. Karen Carpenter was suffering from an eating disorder not uncommon among the American population. Though disorder was not rare, it was rarely talked about. Most people at that time had never heard of the term Anorexia Nervosa. Sad but true, the death of Karen Carpenter in 1983 opened the eyes of the world to this life threatening disease.
Karen Carpenter was well known in the 70s and 80s for her dazzling music. She was one half of the sibling music group, The Carpenters. Born in 1950, she grew up listening to the Beatles and performing with her older brother Richard, and in her lifetime captured 3 Grammy's, 8 Gold Albums, 10 Gold Singles, and 5 Platinum Albums. The music she made was so great that she held the record for the most Top 5 hits in the first year of business. You could say that she lead her life in the spotlight. Young girls looked up to her. She was a role-model and a symbol of American culture. At least, this is what she was trying to be. As it turns out, it was these social pressures that ultimately lead to her downfall.
Richard Carpenter recalls that Karen was "a chubby teenager". Genetically, she wasn't meant to be super thin. Unfortunately for this singer, the only body that she would stand to have was a thin one. The dieting began in 1967 when Karen's doctor put her on a water diet, bringing her weight down from 140 lbs to 120. When she had made it down to 115 lbs, people told her she looked good, but she could only reply that this was just the beginning of the weight loss, and that she wanted to lose still more. By the fall of 1975, Karen was down to 80 lbs. She was taking dozens of thyroid pills a day, and throwing up the little food that she ate. Karen's body was so weak that she was forced to lay down between shows, and the audience was gasping at her body as she walked on stage. It was this year in Las Vegas that Karen collapsed on stage while singing "Top of the World". It was a big scare to the audience and her family. After being rushed to the hospital, it was reported that Karen was 35 lbs underweight. It was this final collapse that made Karen Carpenter realize that she had a serious problem. She went to doctors and therapists, and eventually began to believe that she was well. However, in reality, her body was still suffering from the lack of food, the over dosages of laxatives, the lack of sleep, and the anxiety of being on the road. When she died in 1983, it was a shock to many people who believed that she had been cured.
The emergency call came at 8:51 am on February 4, 1983. Karen Carpenter's mother found her naked and unconscious on the floor of a walk-in wardrobe closet in their home in Downey, California. She was rushed to the hospital where attempts were made to save her life, but within an hour, Karen Carpenter was dead. She died of a cardiac arrest caused by the strain that the anorexia had put on her heart. At the age of 32, she was 5'4", but weighed only 108 lbs.
Karen Carpenter was vibrant and energetic, they said. As Gil Friesen, the president of A&M Records described her, she was "...the girl next door, always up even when she was down". She had the common signs of anorexia. She was sweet, but kept her emotions inside. She was the kind of person who would take care of other people, but not herself. They called her a living skull, and a tormented and unhappy woman. She was psychotic about her weight, and self-conscious about her natural pear-shaped chubbiness. Karen Carpenter was a talented, ambitious young white female from a middle class home. She was the prime example of a victim of anorexia nervosa.
Anorexia Nervosa is often referred to as the stars or starlets disease. Sometimes also called the slimmers' disease, or the rich women's disease. Anorexia is especially common among young white girls and those who need to have more control over their lives. Among anorexics, you will find female hyper-achievers, fashion models, dancers, gymnasts, and ballet troupes. It is the good girls disease.
Ever since Karen Carpenter died in 1983, doctors, scientists, and therapists, among many others, have been investigating the cause of this fatal eating disorder. One common cause, as everyone agrees, is American culture and the media. For the past few decades, there has been an American philosophy of "trim and slim". This is a nation where it is sexy to be skinny and where fitness centers and more recently, dieting supplements, are being advertised more than anything else. The film and television industries are only perpetuating the image conscious nature of people within the American society. Studies have shown that since the beginning of Playboy magazine, the centerfold models have become thinner and thinner, leading to the ideal that thin is good. Super skinny magazine models act as role models, and girls find themselves dieting so that they can look like Twiggy the Shrimp, or whoever the supermodel of the decade may be. Still, many find themselves striving for the gymnast ideal, or thinning down to look like all of the other girls in the ballet class. It is a wide spread problem that is only getting worse as time goes on.
Many sources report that there may be a correlation between a certain style of parenting and anorexia. Scientists are saying that anorexia can develop when parents set excessively high standards of achievement or exert too much control over their children. Children of authoritative parents don't rebel. Instead, they find areas in their lives where they do have control. One of them being their eating habits.
Eventually, girls begin to develop a distorted view of themselves. Psychological disturbances cause them to stop seeing themselves realistically, which in turn causes them to have a low self-image. Often, other peoples' references to chubbiness, pudginess, or baby fat sends the signal that weight must be lost. Bright and successful people see themselves as disgustingly fat. They feel that they have to measure up, but that they can't unless they change their body weight. Anorexia is about control. For some, dealing with pressure means taking control of food.
In 1983, it was predicted that one in every 300 women between the ages of 14 and 25 suffer from anorexia. All together, one in 200 women of all ages are victims of the disease. Studies have also found that one tenth of all female college students have at one time or another suffered from an eating disorder. 15 years ago, there were half a million young women with anorexia, and today, that number has risen to more than 2 million . Writers call it an "underestimated phenomenon", a great epidemic.
To some people, dieting means cutting down on the sweets, and taking an apple for a snack instead of a candy bar. But to others, dieting has an entirely different meaning. Like Karen Carpenter, many people decide to go on water diets, where they hydrate themselves to the extent that their bodies are filled up with water and nothing else. Some are bullimic and force themselves to throw up after they've eaten. Many people take laxatives, or just stop eating all together. One author wrote about a woman who would eat half a raisin at a time so that she wouldn't consume as much food, a girl who would swallow cords to get herself to throw up, and a college student who would rummage through garbage cans late at night to collect food so that she could eat and then throw up everything that she had found.
Though anorexia nervosa has a surprisingly high mortality rate, it still has serious consequences. As in the case of Karen Carpenter, it can lead to serious cardiac problems, which have proven to be fatal. Anorexia can cause a decrease in blood pressure and body temperature, hair loss, loss of menstrual cycle, and a decrease of protein in the blood. Bulimia can cause ulcers, hernias, a dependence on laxatives, and the loss of tooth enamel. When the body is deprived of food, it must look elsewhere for nutrients, and eventually begins feeding on muscle protein. The heart muscle weakens, and this leads to irregular heart rhythms and congestive heart failure. Additionally, anorexia causes an imbalance of electrolytes which causes cardiac abnormalities. In some cases, the bodies of anorexics have digested their own nervous systems. In the end, five to ten percent of the victims of anorexia die within 5 to 10 years of suicide or from depression caused by the illness, malnutrition, and heart problems.
Before Karen Carpenter died, no one spoke of any of this. Girls starved themselves, but they didn't know that there were thousands of other girls that did the same things. They surely didn't know that their eating habits would kill them. No one was aware of anorexia and it's devastating consequences. Up until 1983, eating disorders were not taken seriously. They were treated like any other bad habits that no one ever mentioned. Many thought that there was a quick fix to the problem, and that the solution to an eating disorder was simply to start eating again. Girls believed that they were cured, when in fact, they weren't.
This problem would have continued unnoticed had it not been for the death of Karen Carpenter. Immediately following Karen's death, there was a massive surge in the media regarding the great singer and her battle against anorexia. Eating disorders all of a sudden became highly publicized. Magazines and journals began publishing articles, and the news had top stories about anorexia and it's devastating effects. All of the media coverage on Karen's death encouraged other celebrities to go public with their stories. The death raised the profile of eating disorders in the entertainment community. Jane Fonda and Cherry Boon O'Neill, daughter of singer Pat Boone, admitted to their eating disorders and committed themselves to getting help. Also coming forward with their problems were Kathy Rigby, gymnast and actress, and actresses Jeannine Turner and Lynn Redgrave.
Karen Carpenter's death gave people quite a scare. In the days and months to follow the tragic incident, there were a flurry of frightened phone calls to medical centers from people who had been jolted by the singer's death and wanted help. Psychologically-oriented groups had a doubling in attendance following Karen's death. In addition, many people began to launch voluntary support groups for victims of eating disorders.
Karen Carpenter spurred public interest in anorexia. Soon their were clinics specializing in eating disorders. Richard Carpenter developed a fund dedicated to his sister for researching anorexia. This death awakened the public and lead to a focus on the problem at hand. It has been said that Karen Carpenter is responsible for making America aware of the problems of eating disorders. She brought it out of the closet and made it famous. As one person said, "...she's a name, and that's going to bring more attention."
When I walk around school, I see people who feel the need to be thinner, who look at themselves in the mirror and see fat and ugliness. People often comment on the fact that I'm thin, and say, "You're really skinny". Being a female, a dancer, an over-achiever, vibrant and energetic, many would think that I suffer from the same disease that killed Karen Carpenter. But since 1983, much has been discovered about eating disorders. If someone was to suggest to me that I had an eating disorder, I would hand them this paper and educate them on what it really means to suffer from anorexia. The fact is, eating disorders are a big problem, no matter where you go. They effect me just as they effect everyone else. You don't have to have an eating disorder feel its consequences.
Today, 8 million people suffer from eating disorders. For some reason or another, 7 million women and one million men are intentionally depriving their bodies of food. As time goes on, models are becoming thinner and thinner, as are American girls. 15 years after the death of Karen Carpenter, we are still suffering from this devastating disease, maybe more so than we were in 1983. However, the problem is no longer our ignorance to the fact that eating disorders exist and are killing thousands. Though the media perpetuates the problem, we are still better off than we were during Karen Carpenter's lifetime. We now have knowledge, which will eventually destroy the wrath of all eating disorders. Karen Carpenter can be seen as the great surge of awareness to the millions of people who suffer from this serious disease. Her struggle with anorexia has opened our eyes to the danger of eating disorders, and begun the race to finding the cure.

Incredibly sad and tragic~

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Miracle #2 Jack Hayden Gomer


Such a cutie! Looking back at these pictures brings back such fond memories. I spent my pregnancy alone as his father wanted nothing to do with him (long story) and I wanted nothing to do with his father. I didn't mind. Seth went to most of my dr appointments as I was a single mother and he enjoyed hearing the heartbeat and seeing the sonogram!

On Novemver 29, 2006 Jack Hayden was born. He was named after my step dad and Seth. He weighed 9 7 1/2lbs and was 20 3/4 inches long. In other words a huge baby! My mother was there through it all and when he had trouble breathing she followed the doctors to the nicu and brought him back to me! That was so hard. Having your child taken to the nicu for breathing problems and left crying and praying profusely all was ok. My step dad stayed with me while we anxiously waited for my mom and little Jack's return. He only spent an hour there. Long enough to get an i.v and back on track.

Jack had no problem breast feeding and since I was a pro we worked well together!

Due to the custody battle when his father finally entered his life at 9 months and his girlfriend at the time found out he had a son, which he hid from her, I ended up nursing Jack until past the age of 2 because of the transitions etc with visitation.

Due to my weight dropping rapidly back in February of this year it was therapist who gave me a week to wean him for my own health. He did so well with it after the initial shock of it.

I was sick worse the first 6 months with vomiting and nausea but got a break the final 3 months. Jack was huge and put more pain on my lower back so I did leave work early as I did some major waddling!

The photo above was taken a week before I had him on Seth's birthday. I loved my big belly! I was 154 when I delivered. Just a pound less than with Seth though Jack was near 2 pounds heavier than Seth!
I am very fortunate Jack was an incredibly easy baby like Seth was! He has always been extremely cuddly and affectionate and continues to be.

It's hard to believe come November Jack will be 3 and Seth 7. I adore my boys and love that they have each other! More photos to come of them together!

the photo below somehow got put on the bottom. I am still learning this blogging business. lol It was taken of Jack's first day at my home church in Redlands!