Friday, May 6, 2011
Just a few photos of my nephew and I (he's the 6'5 dude!), my adorable little boys, and my sister's and I from the past month or so.
To say I have been under quite a bit of stress with the custody case is a true understatement! I took a break from here due to my medical and therapy records being released to the judge and the judge just handing over 1200 plus documents of session notes, weights from being in patient (which we all know is triggering to know!), staff notes, dietician notes, my journal entries, my social secuirty number etc. I feel completely exposed and appalled a judge could do this and would do this against Hippa. I didn't commit a crime nor have I ever harmed my children though my ex has quite a record of violence which the courts have seen first hand. He and his wife have done so much to damage me and my two boys it makes me sick to think of it all. Thankfully I am not them and will not stoop to their sickness and complete obsession of cruelty towards me and my boys.
I do feel completely exposed making therapy somewhat difficult. Many are shocked I have chosen to continue with therapy. But to quit would be to give into their sickness. While it has certainly affected therapy, I am truly grateful for who my therapist is and how hard she fought to protect me. We are all in shock. Now it's time to just process it all and move on from it.
I have struggled with "ana" somewhat through this all, mainly because the stress of it makes me lack an appetite, but I am at least confiding in my therapist to some degree regarding it all and a close friend of mine.
My boys are my world and I have to find a way through this all and not let their lies, negativity, and hate towards me infiltrate my recovery and my very being. It is not easy by any means but I am pushing through by enjoying the boys, reaching out, doing well on my job, and still trusting in my therapist~