Saturday, September 19, 2009

This and that and seeing fat! Recovery will win!

Well I tried to add the top ones after writing about the bottom ones but still learning this blogging business. Top ones from my birthday/Easter (4-12-09) then Disneyland last night hence the writing below! Mistakes ok in life so I am posting as is!

Ok so they are silly pictures taken last night while at Disneyland again! I am posting them, flaws, fat and all, because I need to accept where I am at and embrace recovery. I also do pictures like these as a joke to my dietician, Lisa Arroyas, because while at Reasons I told her I'd be going to Disneyland on my birthday/Easter. She said since I loved photography to take pictures of my drinking supplements as I had started treatment a week before! Gotta have a sense of humor in the darkness of Ana. Besides that, my dietician is a riot to say the least!

I have been battling body image all week! Recovery is not easy from this deadly disease but I don't want to die so I have to find ways to keep going and keep pushing forward. "Ana" screams at me to stop and lose, which would be so easy, but I have proven I can be thinner than thin so why not try being a "normal" weight and see what it feels like for a while? I can always go back but have a feeling once I get more into recovery and gain I won't ever want to go back and it's just so dangerous at any level to have an eating disorder.

I challenge you all to try recovery. Better yet I challenge you to DO recovery!



  1. Brandee, I just came across your blog via Medusa's, and I am so happy that you are doing well! I have lost a good friend through her ED (she is still alive, but I'm not sure how much longer), and seeing a woman as strong as you going through recovery is very inspirational to me!

    Thank you for showing us your trials,

  2. This is an amazing post, and you are very inspiring!