Well I tried to add the top ones after writing about the bottom ones but still learning this blogging business. Top ones from my birthday/Easter (4-12-09) then Disneyland last night hence the writing below! Mistakes ok in life so I am posting as is!
Ok so they are silly pictures taken last night while at Disneyland again! I am posting them, flaws, fat and all, because I need to accept where I am at and embrace recovery. I also do pictures like these as a joke to my dietician, Lisa Arroyas, because while at Reasons I told her I'd be going to Disneyland on my birthday/Easter. She said since I loved photography to take pictures of my drinking supplements as I had started treatment a week before! Gotta have a sense of humor in the darkness of Ana. Besides that, my dietician is a riot to say the least!
I have been battling body image all week! Recovery is not easy from this deadly disease but I don't want to die so I have to find ways to keep going and keep pushing forward. "Ana" screams at me to stop and lose, which would be so easy, but I have proven I can be thinner than thin so why not try being a "normal" weight and see what it feels like for a while? I can always go back but have a feeling once I get more into recovery and gain I won't ever want to go back and it's just so dangerous at any level to have an eating disorder.
I challenge you all to try recovery. Better yet I challenge you to DO recovery!