Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Continually looking to Recovery despite insecurity~
Obviously these were taken several years ago when the boys were babies and I had more of a figure! During each pregnancy I was underweight to start but stopped all "ana" behaviors for my boys growing inside me. I got to 155 with Seth who weighed in at 7 lbs 10 oz and 154 with Jack who weighed in at 9 lbs 7 1/2 oz!!!! Both healthy and both did extremely well with breastfeeding. I was about 135 in these photos and miss those ta ta's. hehe Guess that's another incentive to gain!
I know I won't be that big busted when I finish gaining but these photos help give me motivation as I struggle to maintain 118 for my 5'8 frame. I grab at my upper arms and can no longer fit one hand completely around. I can no longer fit both hands around one of my thighs anymore. It's uncomfortable for now but I know it will pass or at least believe it will.
My friend Joyce just commented on a previous blog from about a year ago in a bikini and even that helps motivate me and keeps me grounded in recovery. I have to keep reminding myself that my goal is healthy and not to think of it as fat or over weight. It's a matter of re-training and continually making recovery my new norm.