Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Rock Bottom~

My stress level, due to someone else's insanity, is at it's max. It's been a rough few weeks but I have support and have come to realize I need to separate myself continually from the madness. It's sometimes a moment to moment conscious decision. I am better than this.

My therapist made such a good point today when she pointed out that I take such good care of my kids and do so much for them yet I hurt myself with weight loss and retreating within. She also pretty much laid down the law today so my ass is kicking into gear. I am grateful for her and that I trust her so much and have really connected with her over the years. I find myself really looking forward to sessions. For those of you struggling and thinking you can do this on your own, I encourge you to seek help and connect with someone. Therapy is such a healthy avenue for anyone.

I am struggling with this and doing what I need to work my way up out of this as I feel I have hit rock bottom. They all say the only way left to go is up. I have quite a bit to gain weight wise which we all know is not easy but in the long run will "gain" so much more and grow from this so that someday I can really reach out and help others which is a passion of mine.

The boys and I have a full weekend ahead with a fun birthday party Friday, barbecue pool party Saturday, and new church Sunday. I am a bit insecure about my weight but will still wear a bathing suit Saturday and the sun dresses and skirts I desire. I will not go back to baggy clothes and covering up.

The pain is deep and ongoing but I am learning to reach out more and learning to just be me~




  1. Its great that you're making breakthroughs. When I was in residential I found that a common thread with all of us dealing with this issue is that we find it so much easier to take care of others than to take care of ourselves. And you are very right. The beautiful thing about rockbottom is that you have nowhere else to go but up. And I have faith that up you shall go. Message me if you need any additional support <3 <3

  2. WHat youre saying is so sensible and true. You can move up from this and u have so much to gain, not just weight wise, from moving forward. Help is important and so is allowing yourself to be helped because ur not superwoman and thats ok. Have a great fun filled weekend, F

  3. It is great that you trust your therapist. Connecting with people and not isolating is so important!
    It is wonderful that you have hope that you can pull yourself from rock bottom. You will be able to do this!
    Sending hugs:)