Saturday, August 28, 2010

Living in the moment~

These were taken these past few days. I really enjoyed some down time with the boys at chuck e cheese and the pool. I have been on such a rough road due to someone else's illness that I feel I have been robbed of the true happiness in just enjoying the simple things in life. I am learning despite it all that I can just focus on what truly is important which is my kids and I. I finally include "me". I have left me out for so long. I think when we do that we have a greater risk of relapse or slip ups into the eating disorder. I am struggling with this now.
Sometimes I wonder if children are more resilient than adults. We tend to hyper focus on things that just aren't important while children look just to what's in front of them and enjoy the simple things in life. My boys were thrilled we had the pool to ourselves an hour and Seth was so proud to be swimming in the deep end now on his own. We hadn't been to chuck e cheese in several months and they were so appreciative and excited to be there and I enjoyed just playing games with them. I am looking forward to taking Seth to a ballgame tomorrow through my work as it's his first time.
My kids continually remind me of how to just live in the present moment and enjoy the simple things with them. I have had a rough time of things and thankful to be starting a new church tomorrow and believe the kids will really enjoy it there as well. It's been a near daily struggle to separate myself from someone else's illness and not to care what their abusive comments towards me are and not stand for being put down. It's happened so much in so many ways which has been a heavy burden but not one I have to bear any longer. This reminds me of the burden of anorexia. It's like continually fighting against evil. We continually fight against the pull of this disease and need to be ok with needing a great deal of support. I am at that point at this moment where I am needing a great deal of support and thankful for all that I do have in this.
Hugs to you all on this journey. You are not alone~

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