Following the meal plan has not been easy. It's not so much the food etc as it is I haven't had an appetite and get nauseated just thinking of eating. I have been more accountble to Mike so have had to try a bit harder regardless.
The past few days I feel I have eaten a bit more. I have tried to break the habits of going hours without eating and have been trying to snack and eat every couple of hours. I have had to just eat what looks good or drink the calories to get it in.
I think for a while I have allowed old habits to stay put. If I am not hungry I don't eat but I am not hungry because my body is not used to hunger. If I am too busy to eat, I don't. Instead I need to make snacks readily available. Instead I need to eat regardless of hunger for now.
It's going to take time but the more I do the opposite of what feels habitual or "normal" in ana's eyes the more I will form healthier habits and be where I need to be.
Mike has also put a lot of effort into embracing me with all of this, checking on me, caring, listening to me, and he compliments me all the time on my figure telling me more weight would look better. The least I could do is give back to him and his efforts through recovery as I know I won't be left alone in it and he will still be there when I am heavier.
Time to work on fears and embrace recovery and a healthier me~