I finally got to see Dr. Waraich today. It had been almost 2 months since I saw her last. It felt so good to be back and she was so excited and sweet about seeing me again.Of course she got right down to business. She immediately noticed a difference in weight but confronted me gently. After a deep discussion and some tears she wants me on a minimum 3000 and isn't considering anything lower.
So I sit here stuffed, full, miserable, highly anxious, a bit alone but managing. I feel like I did at Reasons. It's not easy, no one said it would be but neither would dying from this. I have proven emaciation, no news there. Why do that again? Why not try the curvy sex appeal look instead of the bony, vein un- appeal? My few weeks of near relapse have come to an end. Time to face it, though it sucks.
Twenty years of this shit is enough already. ugh just need something to replace it like my kids, Mike, family, friends!!!!!!!
sometimes I feel like a tantruming child giving this up. It's not over yet but will be someday and I will be celebrating and helping others.
((hugs))
Brandee
I'm looking forward to seeing the new "va-va-voom" you!
ReplyDeleteI'm just starting on this road and it's oh so hard when you really really want to do it. So much to actually face and change. The good thing though is that you do have a reason to want to change this and get better and to one day say you have recovered. Imagine how awesome you will feel the day you can actually say that and know it's true. It feels like you have to move mountains right now but each day we push on and get a little better, is a day closer to the day you can say you did it! I know how scary this is, it sucks totally because of the hold it has on us. I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteSarah
Way to go girl! The smile in your pic says it all! So glad you got to back to the doc. Keep pushing through! You're WORTH IT!
ReplyDelete*hugs*