I finally got to see Dr. Waraich today. It had been almost 2 months since I saw her last. It felt so good to be back and she was so excited and sweet about seeing me again.
Of course she got right down to business. She immediately noticed a difference in weight but confronted me gently. After a deep discussion and some tears she wants me on a minimum 3000 and isn't considering anything lower.
So I sit here stuffed, full, miserable, highly anxious, a bit alone but managing. I feel like I did at Reasons. It's not easy, no one said it would be but neither would dying from this. I have proven emaciation, no news there. Why do that again? Why not try the curvy sex appeal look instead of the bony, vein un- appeal? My few weeks of near relapse have come to an end. Time to face it, though it sucks.
Twenty years of this shit is enough already. ugh just need something to replace it like my kids, Mike, family, friends!!!!!!!
sometimes I feel like a tantruming child giving this up. It's not over yet but will be someday and I will be celebrating and helping others.