Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Barriers in Recovery :(

Thank you all who commented on my last blog entry. Your support means so much. I have stayed afloat because of support and a lot because of Mike. I have been so blessed that he just gets it. He doesn't cater to "ana" and is tough and just what I need. He's extremely supportive and encouraging. I almost hate leaning on him so much but he just understand it so well on so many levels. In many ways he's taken the place of Dr. Waraich until I can see her again.
Ana is very powerful. For me right now at this moment it's not about the weight though I have hit danger zone. If I don't know how I will put gas in my car to even get support or pay my bills this month how can I focus? How can I not be depressed which we know resorts to starving for those who understand Ana? I have been active in sending and faxing resumes with cover letters but no control over call backs and don't know day to day how to survive. All the support in the world won't keep a roof over my kids heads nor pay the bills. It's one thing to be in recovery with a therapist, dieticin, group, and other support but when you want recovery and have all those taken away due to finances then what? The stress I feel physically is overwhelming. When alone I just cry in defeat :(


  1. I can only imagine your frustration and fear.

    Is there a governmental Social Services Agency in your area that would be able to provide you with temporary financial support, food, etc? As I live in Canada, I'm just not sure what is available to you in the US. The provincial governments here have agencies which provide such assistance.

    Perhaps try calling the Salvation Army. Here in Canada, they provide emergency assistance in the form of clothing, food, accommodation, life-skills training and counselling. I just checked online and they provide the same services in your area. It's worth a shot.

  2. Been checking out your site for awhile. You're incredibly courageous. I hope you can find some affordable help somewhere. I've been on unemployment insurance for a year now -- such a drag but at least its SOMETHING. Good luck hun. Keep looking up!

  3. life never gives you anything that you can't take. i was watching ellen de generes today on oprah, she was asked about how it was for her coming out. and she said it was the hardest time in her life, she didnt think she would work again, she didnt work in 3 years, her show was cancelled, nobody thought anyone would watch a day time lesbian talk show host so they wouldnt touch her.
    and she said some really inspiring things about how when we are at our biggest trials we see what we are really made of, that its easy to stroll through life and be ok when everything is happy and fine around us. its how we tackle these times, and it's our journey. im rambling about nothing now. (if u want to watch it, it brightened my day, on youtube under ellen and portia on oprah) anyhoo.. i just wanted to let you know I have been reading your posts and feel for you. kia kaha girl, be strong, and your Mike sounds so amazing, his comments on your last post and the way you speak about him now.. sorry for the ellen blabber .. ill leave it there in case you think shes rad like I do, just for today. one day at a time. recovery is achievable. x loubie