ok so I am pretty sure we have all been there. Over calculate calories, spread food on our plates, act full when not, exercise in secret and the list goes on. We claim recovery yet get embarrassed to say some of these behaviors still haunt us and creep in time to time.
I have struggled with these very recently. I can feel my spine and hip bones and see my ribs and crave it but I do want to gain because I look at these photos and think I look better in them and Mike agrees. Who doesn't want to please their significant other?!
Financially I can't see my therapist or my dietician. Not good. I am hoping to get on Victim Witness due to a restraining order I have for domestic violence (on my ex husband) and get back into therapy but in the mean time need some accountability. I have this in Mike, Medusa, and a few others. It's embarrassing to really say what it is I am struggling with because I want to claim full recovery and can't. I am embarrassed that after 9 months of recovery I am still on significant weight gain but at least not complete danger zone!
I encourage you to find the support, tell your secrets, have someone weigh you backwards for accountability as embarrassing as it is ( I am doing this now), and expose Ana or Ed or Ednos as much as you can to allow recovery to take hold and allow the love and support of others to infiltrate you completely~