Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Do I turn back to "ana"? WARNING graphic may trigger!

Top photo was a dear friend of mine on my and to 3 months of treatment last year. Bottom ones pre treatment.

It's been a hard few days and "ana" creeped in again. I was triggered by someone and I have been a bit down about some court stuff going on that is beyond sick and insane as usual. I am also under the weather with a sore throat and headache all day and didn't eat much. This is all it took for me to start missing "ana". I looked back at these photos and tried to see thinness. I realize that I was never the worse "ana" or bulimic out there but looking at these I realize how bad it really was and how I didn't see it when I was so engrossed in it.

I had to truly ask myself if this is what I really want and the answer is NO! I think I am really starting to embrace recovery this time around. A little more gaining and I can fully embrace a healthy figure and even more energy.

I have to remember I still need support through it all as I continue to gain and embrace a healthy and different lifestyle. I don't ever want to go back to "ana".


1 comment:

  1. Love you, I'm proud of how you can keep turning your back on ana. You're so much better than her and better without her. You can do this, and you can always turn to your friends for support.