Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Do I turn back to "ana"? WARNING graphic may trigger!
Top photo was a dear friend of mine on my and to 3 months of treatment last year. Bottom ones pre treatment.
It's been a hard few days and "ana" creeped in again. I was triggered by someone and I have been a bit down about some court stuff going on that is beyond sick and insane as usual. I am also under the weather with a sore throat and headache all day and didn't eat much. This is all it took for me to start missing "ana". I looked back at these photos and tried to see thinness. I realize that I was never the worse "ana" or bulimic out there but looking at these I realize how bad it really was and how I didn't see it when I was so engrossed in it.
I had to truly ask myself if this is what I really want and the answer is NO! I think I am really starting to embrace recovery this time around. A little more gaining and I can fully embrace a healthy figure and even more energy.
I have to remember I still need support through it all as I continue to gain and embrace a healthy and different lifestyle. I don't ever want to go back to "ana".