Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Recovery is NOT my Normal~

These are from a few days ago. My therapist made a comment, when she saw me, about how healthy my hair was looking. I embraced that this time though "ana" screamed it meant I was getting fat! My hair is still falling out a lot but definitely healthier these days due to more "normalized" eating.

This lead me to thinking about what is "normal". Our normal may not be what really is normal. It's not to say we are crazy or something is wrong with us. It just means our eating patters are a bit "off".

I was talking to my dietician the other day and said all this food is overwhelming and not normal. While the amount I am on is for weight gain and not the "norm", my eating habits haven't been "normal" for several years, which she so graciously pointed out. lol

Along with my "abnormal" eating for years I have struggled with allowing abusive men in my life as it seemed so "normal" to me. My therapist pointed this out recently and it was such a revelation because it made me think about relationships and my life overall that seems so "normal" to me yet filled with such deep pain.

I feel as though I am finally waking up. It's been very painful but so worth it because I am so tired of having anorexia and being labled as anorexic. So as my therapist and dietician have said at dfferent times, doing what doesn't feel so normal to me means I am fully in recovery! I challenge you all to do the same and eventually Recovery will be your "normal".


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