Friday, October 29, 2010
Ups and Downs~
Ok so I wore this shirt to therapy the other day as a joke. My therapist was so not impressed but I sure was. hahaha She was like, "Brande what are you doing? So not funny!." I still laughed. Will wear it tomorrow as well. Money is tight soI figured I would be an anorexic for Halloween!!!!! Come on peopke, have a sense of humor. We know it's a serious desease but at the same time you have to joke some!
It's been a trying few weeks as my ex may get access to my therapy records and hospital records from last year. It's a huge invasion of my privacy and he does this to try and take my child from me who is very close to me and needs his real mom. He and his wife want nothing more than to completely destroy me as they have nothing better to do with their own lives and don't know how to get along in life with people or how to be normal. It's beyond sick but I still have to hold my head up through it all and focus on what is most important and that is my two boys, my job, and my recovery from this anorexic hell.
I am working hard at following my dietician's meal plan and see my therapist more. It's not easy as finances are extreme with bills and not enough to cover it all just yet. Through it all I am still stnding which to me speaks volumes but, to others out to destroy me, is used against me.
There are so many anorexics, bulimics, and over eaters that are therapists, doctors, lawyers etc. Our eating disorder isn't who we are and doesn't define who we are. It is merely what we have and are batting to get rid of. This does not make me a bad or incompetant mother. Everything I have been going through has only made me that much stronger.
Quote from Jenni Schaefer's book called Life without Ed: "Recovery is about making room for the real me to exist~" I love this. I am so ready for this. Our eating disorder goes against who we are. It fights us to be who we really are. I challenge you all to choose recovery every day you wake up and look forward to a new day~