Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Biggest FLAW exposed after 20 years!!!!

These were all taken Sunday on the 4th of July! It was low key with a few friends and so fun. I am not thrilled about the 2nd photo as I am a bit thin there and being so white does not help but I don't lay out as who needs skin cancer!!! I decided to post it anyway as I am working my way up but it takes time as this has been a very hard week. I included a few fun shots but the main shot is my ass! oh and I fully intend to get that navel pierced by summer's end!!!!!!
For 20 years I hated (past tense) my ass. I remember a guy I liked in high school saying I had a decent figure but needed to drop a few pounds, especially in my ass. I was 5'8 and 135. With his comment and being on the Varsity dance Team I spiraled. I did everything to lose weight. Even at my lowest of 92 lbs I still had an ass. It never went away. I hated it so much and focused on other parts of my body as well. It just happened to be my biggest flaw in "ana" eyes!
It wasn't until this year that I started to really feel ok with it. This ass shot was taken as a joke but I looked at it and realized, "hey not bad". I am by no means perfect. Ana screams even now that in the full bikini shot I am not too thin but I know better. I want a curvier body and frustrated I am not there yet! I don't look right there but will, soon!
We all have flaws. It's a fact of life but there's danger in zoning in on it and putting oneself down for years over it.
I choose now to embrace my body and who I am. I have so much to offer and to give and have been held back by "ana" and harsh life circumstances recently. I have to work daily to push through any negativity and choose to rise above it. It's a powerful thing to not only survive but to actually start to thrive.
We can't see all the good out there and see our full potential if we are constantly looking down at ourselves. I encourage you all to look up and outward and give yourselves a break. Embrace yourselves, flaws and all, and start living the life you were meant to!


  1. I have never seen an "ass" on you! But I can definitely say that guy in high school was a HUGE ASS! I can't imagine how hard it is to struggle with this disease....but you are going to make it, and keep up the good work on increasing your calories :)

  2. navel piercing sounds good.... I got mine done a week ago and now I can't imagine it not being there :)

  3. I'm so proud of you and your hard work in your recovery!!!! Kick ass Sista!~