Just random shots of the boys in younger years and my twin and I.So I had to have a physical for my new job with a foster agency yesterday. I knew I would be weighed and didn't bother with the whole backwards thing this time. I was a bit shocked at first when she said 119!!!!!! I started to get a little freaked over it but after some support from Mike and self talk I felt fine. I went and ate a double cheeseburger right after because I was hungry. Wow to listening to my body and not that bitch Ana.
I started to think that, for my 5'8 frame, 119 wasn't a huge and overwhelming number anymore and that to get to the low end of what I should be (130) would mean only 11 pounds to go. I thought I have already gotten this far so why not? Why not really make more of an effort to finish gaining and see how I do? If I am accepting of this weight now, which is extremely high in Ana terms, then why not 11 more pounds?
Lately I haven't been as focused on my weight. I have my internal moments but manage. I am not always good about every meal though trying to be more aware. I still have fears but try not to let them overwhelm me so I try to shift my focus to my kids or Mike or now my new job I start Monday. If I continue to put my energies into all of these things there wont be much time to spend with Ana and soon she will be wiped out all together.
I have had more energy lately with eating more of a variety and being more aware. I still have many down moments from lack of nutrients and some drama with my ex but other than that I am feeling ok and looking forward...
Hope you all can do the same and get the support you need~
((hugs))
Brandee
(fb Brande Gomer)
Brande, you're right, with how far you've come, 11 more lbs isn't much. Yeah, I know it's a tough number to "swallow" but you've managed a lot more than that already. I can't believe how far you've come, you work so hard and are being rewarded. Keep up the good work, I'm proud of you.
ReplyDeleteYee-haw!
ReplyDeleteGreat News Brande! Keep Stepping :)
ReplyDeleteTerri xxx
girl the exact same thing, we are the same height, same number, happened to me at the doctor for my girl visit. i stepped on backwards so not to know, and she blurts out 119!!! i almost had a break down and had to leave. i have the problem with being functional and comfortable at this weight as well... but it is prolly the hardest part of recovery to need to KEEP GOING and not give up. i am not giving up so we are in this together... let's both push forward!
ReplyDeleteCongrats sweetie, what a wonderful place to be. I know that there are good days and bad days, but I am sooooo proud of you in your recovery. You are an amazingly strong woman! Love you!
ReplyDelete