Sunday, March 13, 2011
Eating instead of fretting and watching others!
Just a few from a place my boys love to play at in arcadia clled Jump n jammin. Even adults can play!!!! The boys kept me there 6 hours! Their energy amazes me but so cute to see.
The past two weeks have been a bit rough with ongoing ridiculousness from my ex and his continual lies and harassment but I have managed to eat regardless. This got m to thinking about how it used to be.
I remember before having kids how I would rarely go out to eat with others and if I did I was constantly trying to figure how to get around eating, hide the food, or get rid of it. I suffered for so many years of fretting over meals and outings with anyone. "Ana" robbed me of being able to enjoy good company and just be myself.
I still don't go to restaurants much mainly because of the cost but now when I do go with friends and my kids I am able to fret less and actually enjoy the company. Lately I have caught myself just watching my boys as we all eat together and enjoy the small moments without "ana" present.
I still have my down days. I am not thrilled about my body where it is at but am still maintaining and out of danger and even managing to walk a little more confident in having curves again. I will still need to gain a little more but feel it will happen and I will recover through the pain and anguish of it all as there's so much more life out there and I just don't want to be robbed of it anymore!