Sunday, March 13, 2011

Eating instead of fretting and watching others!

Just a few from a place my boys love to play at in arcadia clled Jump n jammin. Even adults can play!!!! The boys kept me there 6 hours! Their energy amazes me but so cute to see.

The past two weeks have been a bit rough with ongoing ridiculousness from my ex and his continual lies and harassment but I have managed to eat regardless. This got m to thinking about how it used to be.

I remember before having kids how I would rarely go out to eat with others and if I did I was constantly trying to figure how to get around eating, hide the food, or get rid of it. I suffered for so many years of fretting over meals and outings with anyone. "Ana" robbed me of being able to enjoy good company and just be myself.

I still don't go to restaurants much mainly because of the cost but now when I do go with friends and my kids I am able to fret less and actually enjoy the company. Lately I have caught myself just watching my boys as we all eat together and enjoy the small moments without "ana" present.

I still have my down days. I am not thrilled about my body where it is at but am still maintaining and out of danger and even managing to walk a little more confident in having curves again. I will still need to gain a little more but feel it will happen and I will recover through the pain and anguish of it all as there's so much more life out there and I just don't want to be robbed of it anymore!


1 comment:

  1. Heya, I follow your blog and I just want to say that you are so inspirational, you've really helped me.

    I want to start a small project for a new page on my blog (
    I want to collect quotes from everyone I know who either has recovered or is recovering from an eating disorder that start with the words "I am recovering because..."
    This is to provide hope for people who are uncertain or scared about recovery. To provide a reason to keep going :)
    Thanks for your help!