Sunday, July 10, 2011
Self "restructive" behaviors!
Just random shots of the boys and I on 4th of July with my sister and friends and some pool shots! The bikini one was just taken today!
I have been through my continued share of stress with court and the insanity of my ex but have managed through it without leaning on "ana" or any self destructive behaviors. My therapist in a recent session spoke with me about ways of coping other than always turning the anger and sadness in on myself which many of us with eating disorders tend to do. We self harm in so many ways because god forbid we actually put the blame where it belongs and actually learn to take care of ourselves and move forward.
So if we are so quick to do self destructive behaviors when stressed, sad, lonely, angry, mistreated, abused etc such as starvation, purging, over eating, self mutilation, drugs etc then why can't we be just as quick to do "restructive" behaviors??? Such as self care like a nice warm bath with candles, painting our nails, reading a good book, going out to the movies alone or with a friend, talking it out, and giving ourselves time to process and get through without such a rush to push it all aside??? I have started this. I remember one night ,about a week ago, just being completely overwhelmed and I laid down on the couch and cried silently for about an hour. I didn't do anything. I didn't run to "ana". I simply allowed myself the time to "heal" and the next day felt better. I wasn't cured of the pain and still was down but not as down. I have since relaxed by the pool and paced myself in other areas of stress and am slowly doing better. Not cured! I cried even just moments ago but I will be okay, especially because I have therapy tomorrow!!! hehe
Recovery is possible~