My Immortal by Evanescence~ Leaving "her" abuse!

Two of my closest friends from church. Love them dearly. This was taken yesterday after we went to lunch and to go see No Strings Attached. Had such a nice time and the movie was soooooo good! I was laughing and tearing up throughout it! And yes I had popcorn with a regular coke as that's normal to do when you don't have an eating disorder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyhow I was listening to this song by Evanescence titled : My Immortal. Here are the words:


I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
(From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/evanescence-lyrics/my-immortal-lyrics.html)

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me


Really read through the lyrics. I cried several times when hearing this song as I bought the cd. It so reminds me of the tug of war with ana and how we are there for "her" yet truthfully she has us abandon all we are and give up all hope to be there for "her". We give "her" so much and when we want "her" to go it seems "she" still lingers. The pain is so deep. We give up so much to "her". Seems we gave everything to "her" including our self worth even though "she" used and abused us. We convince ourselves we are lost without "her" because "she" was good at convincing us we needed "her" even through "her" years of abuse. "She" became the norm for us. Seems we became slaves to "her". We became the care takers. It's no wonder we are somewhat sad to see "her" go yet struggle with the lonliness when "she" lingers and whispers for us to come back. And it's no wonder so many who are abused cling to their abusers and go back to them. Guess the only way to truly break free is to allow the pain to surface and let the tears fall and speak of this deep pain.

Just my thoughts.

((Hugs))
Brandee